Staying Afloat

Posted: February 5, 2017 in Army Mom
Tags: , ,

Psalm 105:4 Seek the Lord and his strength, seek his presence continually.

I can honestly say I could not have made it through the past 6-9 months without God. I start my day off with a devotional and typically end with one as well. We feed and nourish our body daily, and we need to do the same for our soul. I’m still not where I want to be in my walk with the Lord, but I’m also not where I once was.

It is hard to believe that 18mths has passed since I began this whole Army Mom experience. Letting my child go was one of the hardest things I have ever done. In the beginning I did not know how I was going to survive the next day missing my first child, much less the weeks and months ahead. But here I am now, stronger than ever. I survived days, weeks and months without seeing him during BCT/OSUT and now I have almost survived the same as we are almost done with our first deployment. It has been a long nine months. I think that we as humans believe we only “grow” as a child, but I have grown so much since starting this military Mom journey.

I have grown closer to God as well learned more about myself and my strength. In these 18mths, I have prayed more prayers and yes shed more tears than the first 18yrs of his life. I have learned to trust God and his plan for my son. That was something I really struggled with in the beginning because I had controlled so much of my son’s life for so long and of course this was not the path I would choose for him. My uncle, who is a retired Army Chaplain, reminded me that only Jesus’ blood is stronger than a mothers tears. I have reminded myself of his words often. I know that God has his loving arms around my son and is he protecting him. I also know God gives us certain situations to draw us closer to him, and I believe being an Army Mom was mine. There were many days that I felt like I was sinking; days that I didn’t want to work having deal with people yet still acting like I care, days that I wanted to just lock myself in the bedroom and forget about life going on outside, days I didn’t think I had anymore tears to shed but trusting in God and praying through kept me afloat on those trying days.

My strength also came from the people God placed in my life. My family, especially my other boys who I knew still needed a mother. My friends who allowed me to vent and cry and gave me reasons to smile on my “off” days. My church family and prayer warriors who prayed when I couldn’t. My work family who was understanding of my moods and also my prayer warriors. Plus, I have a great group of friends who are also military moms who know exactly what I am feeling because I’m sorry, military life is just different.

I’m not a strong swimmer in real life, but I’m thankful I am a strong woman who can stay afloat no matter what life throws at her. I didn’t know that months ago, but I do now.

Here is a poem that I came across that I think perfectly describes the strength of a military mom. I am thankful God chose me to be an Army Mom.

Making of a Military Mom
When the good Lord was creating mothers, he was into his fifth day of overtime.
An angel appeared and said, “You’re having a lot of trouble with this one. Why not use the standard model?”

And the Lord replied, “Have you seen the specifications on this order? Give birth to a child that will become one of my warriors; install values of duty, honor, and country into them from birth while teaching them to be compassionate and loving; safeguard this treasure through flu, sickness, cuts and scrapes knowing that she can’t be with them when country calls; embrace them but let go of her precious gift to perfect strangers; brighten their day when all seems confused not knowing the pain they are enduring; have the patience of a saint when waiting for them to return home; and have two sets of shoulders to handle the weight of both love and uncertainty.”

The angel shrugged slowly looking down and said, “two sets of shoulders… no way!”

And the Lord answered, ”Don’t worry, we’ll make other military mothers to help carry the burden. Besides it’s not the shoulders that are causing the problem, it’s the heart. It must swell with pride, sustain the ache of separation, beat on steadily when it’s too worried to do so and be large enough to say, “I Understand” when it doesn’t.

“Lord,” said the angel, touching his sleeve gently. “Come to bed… finish this tomorrow!”

“I can’t,” said the Lord. ”I’m so close to creating something special and unique. Already I have one who heals herself from within; can send joy a thousand miles away in just a small box; able to cheer them up with one phone call and can wave good-bye from a pier, a car or off a runway and understand that it is important to her country that they leave.”

The angel circled the model of the military mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,” she sighed.

“But tough,” said the Lord excitedly. “You cannot imagine what this woman can do or endure.”

“Can it think?”

“Can it think? It can home school if need be”

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. “There’s a leak,” she pronounced. “I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model.”

“It’s not a leak,” said the Lord. “It’s a tear.”

“What’s it for?” asked the angel.

“It’s for joy. Sadness. Disappointment. Pain, loneliness and pride!”

“You are a genius,” sighed the angel.

The Lord looked somber and replied, “I didn’t put it there.

Author Unknown
Via Operation Ooh-Rah (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Operation-Ooh-Rah/

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